Introduction: The Vital Role of Self-Regulation in Early Childhood
In early years classrooms, we often hear educators say:
These behaviours are common in young children but they are not signs of “bad behaviour,” stubbornness, or lack of discipline. They are signs of stress.
Dr. Stuart Shanker, a world-leading expert in self-regulation, explains that:
“There is no such thing as a bad kid. There are only kids who are overstressed.” Stuart Shanker
This statement changes everything.
Instead of asking, “How do I fix this behaviour?”
we ask, “What is the stress behind this behaviour?”
Self-regulation is not about compliance or “calming down quickly.” It is a lifelong process in which children learn to:
We will explore:
According to Dr. Stuart Shanker:
“Self-Reg is about understanding and responding to stress, not controlling behaviour.” Stuart Shanker
Self-regulation is not simply “self-control.”
It is not about:
✘ willpower
✘ obedience
✘ compliance
✘ discipline
✘ punishments or rewards
✘ sitting still
✘ being quiet
Self-regulation is a brain body process.
It involves:
Shanker explains:
“Self-control is about inhibiting impulses. Self-regulation is about reducing the stress that is driving those impulses.” Stuart Shanker
This means that the real goal is not “calm behaviour.”
The real goal is reduced stress.
Because when stress drops, behaviour naturally improves.
Young children are experiencing rapid brain development. Neural pathways related to emotion regulation, impulse control, decision making, empathy, and coping skills are forming during this period.
Children learn to name and manage feelings.
Children learn how to resolve conflicts, cooperate, and play peacefully.
A regulated brain is ready for learning. Dysregulated brains cannot engage in problem-solving or executive functioning.
Challenging behaviours decrease naturally when stress is reduced.
Children learn how to bounce back from challenges.
Shanker emphasizes:
“Self-Reg is fundamentally about building a brain that is resilient.” Stuart Shanker
In a world where children face increasing sensory, social, digital, academic, and emotional stressors, self-regulation has never been more essential.
Stress is not only emotional. Stress is any demand placed on the body or mind.
Shanker identifies five domains of stress that impact children:
Understanding these domains helps educators identify hidden stressors.
Young children experience all of these daily.
Shanker's model is the foundation of modern self-regulation practice.
stress piles up, children move into:
This is where behaviours like:
begin to appear.
Self-regulation helps prevent and recover from these states.
Instead of:
“She’s being difficult.”
“He’s misbehaving.”
Try:
“This child is in stress.”
Shanker reminds educators:
“See the behaviour as a sign of stress, not misbehaviour.” — Stuart Shanker
This step alone transforms your approach.
Look deeper and identify stress across the five domains.
Example: A child hitting during circle time might be:
Adjust the environment and routines:
Teach the child to notice their own feelings:
Reflection builds metacognition, the foundation of emotional intelligence.
Help children find strategies that bring them back to balance:
Shanker explains:
“Restoration is not a reward. It is what the brain needs to get back to being calm and alert.” Stuart Shanker
Below are evidence-based strategies aligned with Shanker’s self-regulation principles.
The environment is the “third teacher.”
A poorly designed room increases stress.
Create:
Avoid:
Shanker emphasizes:
“Children’s behaviour is often a reflection of the energy in the room.” — Stuart Shanker
Co-regulation is when the adult provides the calm the child cannot yet access.
Children take in adult regulation through the nervous system.
A dysregulated adult cannot regulate children.
Always connect emotionally before giving directions.
Connection reduces stress instantly.
Young children need security.
Predictable routines reduce cognitive and emotional stress.
Use:
Loose parts support emotional regulation through:
Loose parts can be used in:
Offer:
These support children whose nervous systems need tactile grounding.
Use simple breathing strategies:
Teach breathing when children are calm, not in crisis.
Movement resets the nervous system.
Include:
Help children name emotions.
Shanker highlights:
“When we name the emotion, we help the child’s brain make sense of what they feel.” Stuart Shanker
Naming reduces stress.
A calm corner is not a time out.
It is a place for restoration.
Include:
This teaches self directed regulation.
Children with:
may have more sensitive stress systems.
Use:
Shanker says:
“When we understand a child’s stress system, everything changes.” — Stuart Shanker
Self-Reg is not one size fits all.
Language learners face extra stress:
Reduce stress through:
When children feel safe, language emerges naturally.
For children with adverse early experiences, the stress response may activate quickly.
Important practices:
Trauma is not fixed through discipline but through safety and connection.
Educators cannot co-regulate children if they are overwhelmed.
Shanker reminds us:
“Self-Reg begins with the adult. We cannot expect children to be calm when we are not.” Stuart Shanker
Educators should:
A regulated educator = a regulated classroom.
Steps:
When the entire centre embraces Self-Reg, behaviour challenges drop dramatically.
Self-regulation is not a skill children “magically learn.”
It is built through relationships, environment, and gentle guidance.
Dr. Stuart Shanker’s work teaches us that:
“When we see the child differently, the child begins to see themselves differently.” Stuart Shanker
Early years educators have the power to shape children’s emotional futures.
Self-regulation is more than a strategy.
It is a philosophy, a way of seeing children with empathy and understanding.
And it is one of the greatest gifts we can give them.